A. Conflicts come when our wants become more important than they should.(James 4:1-2)
1. James 4:1-2What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you?2 You want something but don’t get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God.
2. Desire creates conflict when one or more things happen:
a. When my wants conflict with your wants the sparks are going to fly.
James 4:2You want something but don’t get it.
b. When our wants leave the boundaries God tells us are healthy, we get selfish.
3. James 4:1-2What causes fights and quarrels among you?Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you?2 You want something but don’t get it.You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want.You quarrel and fight.
4. We need a new normal of wanting less.
B. Conflicts develop when pleasure becomes more important than it should.(James 4:3-4)
1. James 4:3When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.
2. God did not design life to be easy.
3. Real joy is not dependent upon what happens in our life.It is dependent upon the attitude we choose to have about it.
C. Conflict develops when personal pride becomes more important than it should.(James 4:6)
1. James 4:6But God gives us more grace.That is why Scripture says: ‘God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.’
2. Negative pride is the act of placing ourselves above:
a. God’s control.
b. Each Other.
3. Proverbs 13:10Pride only breeds quarrels.
2. HOW CAN WE STOP ARGUING?
A. The first step is to humble and submit ourselves to God.(James 4:6,10)
1. James 4:6,10But He gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:‘God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.’(10)Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will lift you up.
2. Grace is God’s way of empowering us with the desire and ability to do God’s will.
3. When we are filled with ourselves, God resists us.When we humble ourselves to Him, He lifts us up and blesses us.
4. James 4:7Submit yourselves, then, to God.
5. Humble yourself before the other person.Hear them out.Be open to their needs just as much as your own.
B. Recognize the real enemy.(James 4:7)
1. James 4:7Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
2. How do we resist the devil?The same way Jesus did it.He obeyed the Bible not His emotions.
3. Memorize Proverbs 13:10Pride leads to arguments.
C. Pray about the issue.(James 4:2)
1. James 4:2You want something but don’t get it.You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want.You quarrel and fight.You do not have, because you do not ask God.
2. Philippians4:6-7Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
3. Philippians4:19And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.
D. Draw closer to God.(James 4:8)
James 4:8Come near to God and he will come near to you.Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.