Part 2 – How We Establish Boundaries Proverbs 25:28
July 21, 2018 Libin Abraham, SCBC Campus Pastor—Missouri City
Boundaries are limits that define and protect our identity, purpose and responsibility.
Healthy lives require healthy limits.
Proverbs 25:28 Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control.
1. Setting boundaries begin as an internal resolve before it’s an external process.
A. Establishing boundaries are motivated by a desire for change
Nehemiah 1:3-4 They said to me, “Those who survived the exile and are back in the province are in great trouble and disgrace. The wall of Jerusalem is broken down, and its gates have been burned with fire.”4 When I heard these things, I sat down and wept.For some days I mourned and fasted and prayed before the God of heaven.
B. Assess and identify before taking action
Nehemiah 2:12-13 I set out during the night with a few others. I had not told anyone what my God had put in my heart to do for Jerusalem. There were no mounts with me except the one I was riding on.13 By night I went out through the Valley Gate toward the Jackal Well and the Dung Gate, examining the walls of Jerusalem, which had been broken down, and its gates, which had been destroyed by fire.
2. Setting boundaries will most likely result in resistance because you are challenging the status quo.
A. Resistance from others
1. Reactions of Anger
Nehemiah 4:1 When Sanballat heard that we were rebuilding the wall, he became angryand was greatly incensed.
2. Feelings of Guilt
Nehemiah 4:12 Then the Jews who lived near them came and told us ten times over, “Wherever you turn, they will attack us.”
3. Placing of Blame
Proverbs 19:3People ruin their lives by their own foolishness and then are angry at the LORD. (NLT)
B. Resistance from within
1. Unmet needs
Philippians 4:19And my God will supply all your needs according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus
Psalm 37:4Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.
2. Fear of loss
Proverbs 17:17A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need
3. Surround yourself with people who will help you protect your boundaries
Nehemiah 2: 17-18Then I said to them, “You see the trouble we are in: Jerusalem lies in ruins, and its gates have been burned with fire.Come, let us rebuild the wall of Jerusalem, and we will no longer be in disgrace.”18They replied, “Let us start rebuilding.” So they began this good work.
4. Decide your priorities ahead of time
Nehemiah 6:2-4Sanballat and Geshem sent me a message: “Come, let’s meet together in the villages of the Ono Valley.”They were planning to harm me.3So I sent messengers to them, saying, “I am doing important work and cannot come down. Why should the work cease while I leave it and go down to you?”4 Four times they sent me the same proposal, and I gave them the same reply. (CSB)
A. Priorities lead you to choose what is important over what is urgent
B. Priorities keep in mind long-term goals rather than immediate gains
C. Priorities give you permission to say NO for the sake of a more worthy YES
D. Godly priorities will decide what you do based upon who you are or want to be
Action Steps for this week…
I will identify unmet needs that I have which motivate me to cross boundaries.
I will make a list of my priorities that are irreplaceable.
I will seek out supportive relationships to help me define and protect my boundaries.
I will seek God’s help to follow through on the boundaries I set in place.