Boundaries – Part 2

Boundaries: Healthy Lives Require Healthy Limits

Part 2 – How We Establish Boundaries
Proverbs 25:28

July 21, 2018
Libin Abraham, SCBC Campus Pastor—Missouri City

Boundaries are limits that define and protect our identity, purpose and responsibility.

Healthy lives require healthy limits.

Proverbs 25:28 Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control.

1. Setting boundaries begin as an internal resolve before it’s an external process.

A. Establishing boundaries are motivated by a desire for change

Nehemiah 1:3-4 They said to me, “Those who survived the exile and are back in the province are in great trouble and disgrace. The wall of Jerusalem is broken down, and its gates have been burned with fire.”  ⁴ When I heard these things, I sat down and wept.  For some days I mourned and fasted and prayed before the God of heaven.

B. Assess and identify before taking action

Nehemiah 2:12-13 I set out during the night with a few others. I had not told anyone what my God had put in my heart to do for Jerusalem. There were no mounts with me except the one I was riding on.  ¹³ By night I went out through the Valley Gate toward the Jackal Well and the Dung Gate, examining the walls of Jerusalem, which had been broken down, and its gates, which had been destroyed by fire.

2. Setting boundaries will most likely result in resistance because you are challenging the status quo.

A. Resistance from others

1. Reactions of Anger

Nehemiah 4:1 When Sanballat heard that we were rebuilding the wall, he became angry and was greatly incensed.

2. Feelings of Guilt

Nehemiah 4:12 Then the Jews who lived near them came and told us ten times over, “Wherever you turn, they will attack us.”

3. Placing of Blame

Proverbs 19:3  People ruin their lives by their own foolishness and then are angry at the LORD. (NLT)

B. Resistance from within

1. Unmet needs

Philippians 4:19  And my God will supply all your needs according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus

Psalm 37:4  Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.

2. Fear of loss

Proverbs 17:17  A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need

3. Surround yourself with people who will help you protect your boundaries

Nehemiah 2: 17-18  Then I said to them, “You see the trouble we are in: Jerusalem lies in ruins, and its gates have been burned with fire.  Come, let us rebuild the wall of Jerusalem, and we will no longer be in disgrace.”  ¹⁸ They replied, “Let us start rebuilding.” So they began this good work.

4. Decide your priorities ahead of time

Nehemiah 6:2-4  Sanballat and Geshem sent me a message: “Come, let’s meet together in the villages of the Ono Valley.”  They were planning to harm me.  ³ So I sent messengers to them, saying, “I am doing important work and cannot come down. Why should the work cease while I leave it and go down to you?”  ⁴ Four times they sent me the same proposal, and I gave them the same reply. (CSB)

A. Priorities lead you to choose what is important over what is urgent

B. Priorities keep in mind long-term goals rather than immediate gains

C. Priorities give you permission to say NO for the sake of a more worthy YES

D. Godly priorities will decide what you do based upon who you are or want to be

Action Steps for this week…

I will identify unmet needs that I have which motivate me to cross boundaries.

I will make a list of my priorities that are irreplaceable.

I will seek out supportive relationships to help me define and protect my boundaries.

I will seek God’s help to follow through on the boundaries I set in place.