After the Honeymoon Message Series



Part 2 – Marriage Myths
Ephesians 5:18-32

January 26, 2020
Libin Abraham


A myth is a popular idea, belief or even a half-truth that shapes the worldview of an individual or a culture because just enough people have believed them.


1. Myth: Marriage is all about finding the right one.

Truth: Marriage is about becoming the right one that God has called you to be.

Ephesians 1:22-23 And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, 23 which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.

If we look to our spouses to fill us in way that only God can, we are demanding an impossibility of our spouses. What we have done is taken God’s resume and given it to our spouses as their job description.

Romans 8:28-29 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. 29 For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son

In marriage, God gives to us imperfect spouses, with flaws and all, so that we would learn to love like Jesus loved us. 

Ephesians 5:24-27 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 

God wants you to be happy, but the path to lasting happiness is the pursuit of holiness. God wants you to be satisfied, but the path to lasting satisfaction is the pursuit of sanctification.

Soulmates are not found, they are forged.

2. Myth: Marriage is a consumer contract.

Truth: Marriage is a divine covenant.

Malachi 2:14–14 “…the Lord is the witness between you and the wife of your youth. You have been unfaithful to her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant. 15 Has not the one God made you? You belong to him in body and spirit. And what does the one God seek? Godly offspring. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful to the wife of your youth.”

Ephesians 5:28–30 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body.

Contract: I seek my best interest

Covenant: I seek God’s interest first and then our interest

Contract: Negotiate Terms

Covenant: Serve one another on God’s terms

Contract: Keep a record of performance

Covenant: Love keeps no record of wrongs

Contract: Punishment for failed expectations

Covenant: Forgiveness for failed expectations

Contract: If Then’s

Covenant: Even If’s

Contract: I want to win

Covenant: We want to worship

Contract: Getting what I want

Covenant: Giving all I have

3. Myth: All we need for a thriving marriage is our love.

Truth: What we need for a thriving marriage is God’s love flowing through us.

Ephesians 5: 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…

Ephesians 5:24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

Ephesians 5:32 This (Marriage) is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.

Ephesians 5:18-20 And don’t get drunk with wine, which leads to reckless living, but be filled by the Spirit: 19 speaking to one another in psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs, singing and making music with your heart to the Lord, 20 giving thanks always for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ,

Romans 5:5 This hope will not disappoint us, because God’s love has been poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

Soft Patriarchs, New Men; How Christianity Shapes Fathers and Husbands, W. Bradford Wilcox

Every marriage at some point will deplete their natural resources. And if they have nowhere to turn to, they turn away from each other. But if they can turn to a supernatural resource, they are replenished with everything they need.