After the Honeymoon Message Series



Part 4 – Love and Respect
Ephesians 5:33

February 9, 2020
Libin Abraham @ Sugar Land Campus



Men and Women are equal, but they are different.

Matthew 19:4  Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’… (NIV)

Genesis 1:27  So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. (NIV)

God’s design for marriage is that unity and intimacy through our differences would best reflect the image of God.

Ephesians 5:33  So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. (NLT)


1. Husbands, Love your Wife

A. Love is not emotion-oriented, love is actionoriented. We do not feel to love, we choose to love.

John 13:34  A new command I give you: Love one another.  As I have loved you, so you must love one another.  (NIV)

Ephesians 5:25  Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. (NIV)

While we cannot duplicate Christ’s love, we are called to imitate Christ’s love.

“You do the acts of love, despite your lack of feeling. You may not feel tender, sympathetic, and eager to please, but in your actions you must be tender, understanding, forgiving and helpful. And, if you do that, as time goes on you will not only get through these dry spells, but they will become less frequent and deep, and you will become more constant in your feelings. This is what happens when you decide to love.” (Timothy Keller, The Meaning of Marriage)

B. To love is to pursue and protect what is valuable.

Deuteronomy 24:5  If a man has recently married, he must not be sent to war or have any other duty laid on him.  For one year he is to be free to stay at home and bring happiness to the wife he has married. (NIV)


2. Wives, Respect your Husbands

Galatians 3:28  There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. (NIV)

Titus 2:4  Then they (older women) can urge the younger women to love their husbands…(NIV)

1 Peter 3:1-2  Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. (NIV)

A. Respect without Judging.

1 Peter 2:17  Show proper respect to everyone  (NIV)

1 Peter 3:9  Don’t pay back evil with evil.  Don’t pay back unkind words with unkind words.  Instead, pay back evil with kind words.  This is what you have been chosen to do.  You will receive a blessing by doing this.  (NIRV)

B. Respect your husband’s God-given desire to lead.

1 Corinthians 11:3  But I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.

C. Respect your husband by affirming him.

Ephesians 4:29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. (NIV)

3. Motivations to Love and Respect

A. We do not get our need met by depriving our spouse of their need.  Rather, our need is met when we focus on meeting the need of our spouse.

B. To love and respect your spouse is an opportunity to love and respect Christ.

Ephesians 5:21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. (NIV)


Recommended Resources

Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerichs

The Meaning of Marriage by Timothy Keller

The Good Fight; How Conflict Can Bring You Closer by Les and Leslie Parrott

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John M. Gottman